Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! :d
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelery and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!
Boss hangs a poster in Office
"I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET"
He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk.
"Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home."
True Heart Touching Lines:
If I Have To Choose Between
Loving You And Breathing.
I Will Choose My Last Breath
To Say I LOVE You..!
Bivi Ghusse Mein: “Mera jeena haram ho gaya hai.
Me ye ghar chorh k ja rahi hun”
Husband: Jan Choro! Khuda K Waste.
Biwi Wapas Atay Hoye: Ek to apki ye adat buhut
buri hai, hamesha JAN keh k aur Khuda ka wasta
de k rok lete hain
A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
“Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…”
Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ?
Husband remains silent ?
Wife: what is D meaning of silence?
Husband: Wait.. let me count...
Some women are so concerned about their Husband's Happiness, .
They hire a private detective to find out who's Responsible for it...!
Wife cal her hsbnd
The window is jammed. Wat should I do?
Husband: Pour some warm water on it, but make sure it’s not too hot or it will crack
“OK” she replied, sounding a bit unsure.
He cal back 10 min later:
“Did u do the trick?”
“yes! but” she said tearfully,
“The LAPTOP isn’t working at all now!:P
Wife is “Recievd call”
Girl is “Dialed call”
Aunty is “Missd call”
Lover is “waiting call”
Frndship is “FEVICOL”
nahi chodenge !! :D
What is the best example of ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity?
A Mosquito lands on your wife’s face,
& u get the rarest opportunity of your life..
Never miss it!!
Judge: why did u shoot Ur wife
instead of shooting her lover?
Man: Your honor,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.
Man outside phone booth: Excuse me !!
You are holding the phone since 20 mins.
haven't spoken a word..!!!
Man inside: I'm talking to my wife
I Feel The Loneliness In My Life,
I Feel The Emptiness In My Heart,
The Hurt Is So Painful,
I Love To Leave My Breath Once And For All.
Biwi: Q na hum apni shadi ki salgirah par
dawat k lye bakra ziba karen?
Shohar: ghalti to me ne ki hai to saza us gharib ko Q dein.
Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a car door for wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife
GUSSE KA AANA MARD HONE KI NISHAANI HAI,
MAGAR GHUSSE KO PI JANA WOH "HUSBAND" HONE KI NISHAANI HAI
Laughs at ur own mistake make ur life long.
Laughs at ur wife’s mistake make ur life short.
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 1.O bunty k pappa
Yr 1.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 1.Tum aate ho k main aaon?
Position of a husband is just like a Split AC…
No matter how loud he is outdoor,
He is designed to remain silent indoor!
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”
A line written on a Husband's T shirt :
ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN..
Kya Hai Dil Ki Haalat Bataana Nahi Aata,
Kisi Ko Aise Tadpana Nahi Aata.
Sunna Chahte Hai ek Baar Fir Aawaz Uski,
Magar Baat Karne Ka Bahaana Bhi Nahi Aata.
Husband k Marne k Next day,
Wife Ne Paper Me Add diya: janazy Me Shamil Hony waly Logon Ko Thanx
Bachay nahi han.
A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
WiFe: WhAt WoUlD YoU LiKe To Do ToDaY?
HuSbAnD : Im NoT SuRe. LeTs ThInK ?
WiFe : No, LeTs Do SoMeThInG ThAt YoU CaN Do, ToO.
Gem notes for women:
1. If a man wants u, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you some day.
3. Have your Own set of friends, separate from his..get ur time with ur friends to relax and unwind
4. Make your man miss you sometimes..when he knows Ure ALWAYS there for him, he’ll take you for granted
Man: is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: get married
man: will it help?
Doc: no, but it will avoid such thoughts
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in Ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.
My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.
wife 2 husband-mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumane le chalo.
husband-chalo tayaar ho jao.
petrol pump chalte hain..